me and Mom 3/8/13

I learned from my mother to keep a pair of pretty dish towels on top of your washer and dryer!  More on this in a few minutes.

As we look forward to this Mother’s Day weekend, there are many reminiscent thoughts going through my head.  My thoughts  go back to my own days as a young mother of two very active young boys.  I have heartwarming memories of breakfasts in bed that these two darling little boys would bring to me on Mother’s Day mornings.  There were the walks we would go on at the little fishing lake near us.  Those old fashioned things called photo albums remind me of so many good times on trips to Disney World, Niagara Falls and Europe, and little day trips to local amusement parks and Forest trails.   More recently,  the family vacations and fun times we have with our sons as adults, with their own families and young children!

Me with my boys

My thoughts go back further than this, though.  I think of my own mother and the things I have learned from her that made me the mother, the woman and the wife that I am today.  As a very young girl I remember feeling sorry for little girls that didn’t have the kind of mother and childhood that I had!  I have always felt very fortunate and appreciative of having had a stay at home mother and a traditional family.  It is what I knew and it was good.  How could any other way be as good?  I know now as an adult that other childhoods could be different than mine and still be a good childhood in their eyes, but I’m not very objective about it.  I still, to this day feel much compassion for all the innocent children that don’t have a good life through no fault of their own.

Not all mothers should be mothers.  Not all mothers know how to be mothers.  I wish it weren’t true, but it is.  Children learn from their mother figures.  If they don’t have a good mother figure, it makes their road a little harder to travel.  The good news is that we all grow up to be adults and we then have the control over our own life.  We all have the choice to hold on to the good that was learned and to discard the bad that some had to endure.

We definitely start our process of learning through examples we learn from our mother and parents.  As young children we don’t even think to ask why our parents are doing what they do, we just tend to follow their example.  This is where the dish towels come in!  I grew up in a very clean and neat home, as were my grandmothers’ homes, too.  I always remember my grandmother and my mother having a pair of pretty dish towels laying on top of the washer and dryer.  I just got used to the look and I thought it looked good.  It also softens and pretties up the hard, white washer and dryer.  Damp clothes can be laid  flat to dry on top of the towel on the dryer and they dry quicker this way.  So that is what I do now too!  One day my daughter-in-law asked me why I have dish towels on top of my washer and dryer, and my answer was the same that my mother gave me.  Because my mother did it!

The most important thing I learned from my mother, besides the dish towels,  the thing that is the umbrella over all other learned lessons, is that she always told me that “being a lady never goes out of style”.  Show class and respect in all that you do, no matter what it may be.  She also made sure I realized that I could do whatever I wanted to do in life.  She didn’t want me to be dependent on a husband, and told me not to  settle for just being a housewife and mother.  She wanted me to be more and to do more.  At the same time, she also taught me to cook, how to keep a tidy and pretty home, and how to knit and sew.  My mother was always home when my brothers and I got home after school.  We came home to a clean home and a dinner every night.  My mother taught me lessons by example while also telling me to do more.

This is what I did.  I went to college, I worked, I became independent and then I got married.  My husband and I  bought and ran the insurance agency that my grandfather had started back in the 50′s.  Then I had children and became conflicted.  I wanted to be like my mother.  I wanted to be able to stay home with my boys more.  I eventually was able to arrange my schedule so that I would be home at 3:00.  I wasn’t always able to do this, but I tried as often as I could.  I  remember one day, waiting at home for my boys to get off the bus and walk in the door,  and one of my boys telling me that he really liked it when I was home after school.  That always stuck with me.  It shouldn’t surprise me though, because I always liked it with my mother, too.  It always gave me a secure and comfortable feeling to come home to Mom and not an empty house.

I wanted to be more like my mother than she knew.  I wanted to make a nice home and life for my boys, just as my mother had done for us.  I’m also grateful that she encouraged me to do and be more.  I learned that I could do whatever I wanted and I could do it all.  I just couldn’t always do it all at the same time!  But I was lucky enough to experience it all.  The part of my life that has given me the most satisfaction and the greatest pleasure is being a mother, a good homemaker and wife.  I’m sure that satisfaction came to me in part because I knew I had the choice.  Thanks to my mother!

My mother and I now live 3 miles apart.  My boys have grown and moved away, but I am fortunate to have my mother close.  Now we grocery shop together, we knit together, and now I cook many meals and invite Mom and Dad to have dinner with my husband and me.  The circle of life!

And the last time I went to visit my son and family, I was helping my daughter-in-law with the laundry, and guess what I saw?  Two pretty dish towels laying on top of the shiny white washer and dryer!

This post is dedicated to my mother, with love!  Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and nurturers out there.  Being a mother is the most important job there is and should be honored, respected and never diminished.

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