Are you happy when you’re alone? I’m sure that depends on a lot of factors. It would depend on whether it’s by choice or not. Is it just a short and temporary situation or a seemingly permanent way of life? Are you a person that thrives on quiet alone time or do you need to have constant live interaction with others in order to feel alive and happy? Like most things in life, we usually crave what we don’t have or don’t have a lot of.
As women, and especially women over 50, I think I can make a general statement that we are much more in need of, or at least comfortable with, our alone time. I’m sure that’s not true for all of us, but in general. Am I wrong on this? I know I love being alone! I’m sure that’s because I am alone very seldom. I’m home alone for a few days while my husband is out of town on a business trip. I feel like I’m on a 4 day vacation without even wanting to walk out my door! Guess what I did yesterday? I sat on my butt most of the day, in my little studio/sewing room, in my cute comfy favorite chair, surrounded with everything I needed. My dogs slept on the couch next to me and I had my little TV turned on to the channels I like to watch without anyone saying to me, “How can you watch that crap?” My coffee cup and later my wine glass, the TV remote, and the telephone are all within a short reach on the end table to my right. My computer and bookkeeping that I’m working on, are right in front of me on my little ottoman. My yarn and book basket is on the floor to my right and my beading stand is on my left.
I only had to get up to go to the bathroom, get something to eat, and let the dogs out. What a great day! Nobody was talking at me, asking me questions, wanting something to eat, or wanting my attention. I had guacamole chips with spinach dip for dinner, watched the TV shows I wanted to in bed, and then read my book with my nightstand light on instead of my little tiny book light! Oh such simple little joys!
I know why it felt like such a treat, and that’s because it very seldom occurs. My husband and I have been married for almost 33 years. We have also worked together for 32 of those years. For the last 8 years our office has been in our home and so we are together almost 24/7. Not only are we physically together most of the time, we are working together, talking, discussing, planning, and at times disagreeing. We see and feel each other’s stresses, hear each other’s phone calls and share each other’s emails. So a little alone time is a very welcome change.
I know there are many single, divorced, widowed, and maybe even some ignored married women that would tell me that they would change places with me any day just to have a loving partner next to them and interacting with them. I understand that. I am not complaining. Like I said earlier, we usually crave what we don’t have.
Our situation obviously works for us, but it takes a lot of patience at times. We also have lived this way almost our whole married life and so at this point, living any other way for a longer length of time, would just not feel right at all. In fact, shortly after my husband left, I started telling myself that I really should have gone with him! Last night we talked on the phone and I just kept thinking that I should be there with him!
Yes, my kitchen is clean and there are no dirty dishes, but it’s not very enjoyable cooking for one. The bathroom is staying clean and I seem to sleep better and wake up without my back hurting, but the nights are getting cooler and I have no one to snuggle with. I’m doing my work without someone talking to me, but there is no one here to answer my constant annoying questions. And what if an appliance or piece of office equipment breaks down? I can’t fix stuff like that!
I’ll enjoy my alone time. I have a lot of work to do so it flies by. I’ll be so glad when he’s back home!